Sunday, January 16, 2022
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Dear Grandma,
For as long as I can remember, when I would think of you, I would see your face in my mind and you were always a beacon… a lighthouse… a cornerstone… a pillar… the light at the end of the tunnel… a guiding star… hope… unconditional love… understanding… support… warmth… welcoming... home… an anchor… a foundation… and the one person who always brought the rest of us together.
When I was young and my family was going through a very rough time, you sent me a letter with a ten dollar bill in it and you wrote “I won this ten dollars playing bingo. I wanted you to have it in hopes it might bring you luck, too.” I remember feeling very lost in those days due to the current situation, but just getting that letter from you out of the blue, to know you were thinking of me, it helped by poking a hole in the narrow bubble I was living in and let me know that there are still things outside of my scope that are important. There is someone who still cares about me, even though they are not in my presence or everyday life. It gave me the hope I needed to press on. It gave me a reason to keep moving forward. With everything else around me collapsing (it seemed), it gave me that light I needed, at the end of the tunnel. It gave me a direction to move in. It still wasn’t clear to me what I wanted to do or how I was going to do anything, but it was at that moment that I knew that no matter what, I wanted you and Grandpa to be in my future. Many years later, when I improved my situation enough, you were. And I have some of the best memories because of it.
You and Grandpa (and of course, Aunt Kathy & Elisha) were who I planned my vacations for after I joined the Air Force. Every chance I got to visit Erie, I took it. Spending time with you and Grandpa gave me more joy and happiness than anything else in my life at the time. I was so blessed to have you. You taught me integrity, to be as understanding as I could be, and to just enjoy life. You and Grandpa made it so easy for us to be so silly when we were with you. There are no words to describe how happy we all were when we were with you. The happy feelings… they are always there. They are why I’m crying as I write you this letter. I’m so grateful to have those happy feelings, those happy memories. Thank you so much for that. Those wonderful, wonderful gifts that are our memories of you.
After Marci and I got married, there were two locations we would make an effort to visit. Her family in Missouri and of course, you and Grandpa in Erie. I remember the first few times we’d visit Marci’s family after Tori was born, and it would always stress Marci out. I remember arguing with her asking her “why is this always so stressful?” She didn’t understand why I thought it shouldn’t be. Then I took her to Erie for the first time… she had some anxiety, she expected to be stressed some, but after being with you and Grandpa a couple days, she finally got to experience what visiting family is probably supposed to feel like. She couldn’t believe how relaxing and stress free and easy going it could be. It made me laugh. She instantly fell in-love with you and Grandpa and Erie after that first family visit. Marci grew to love you as much as did. (I wasn’t surprised) As the kids got older, they too grew to love going to Erie as much as any of their other favorite places.
I know I’m not the only one who sees you that way, Grandma. Dad, Gie, Uncle Don, Emily, Aunt Kathy, Uncle Mike, and of course Elisha, as well as my sisters and brother, we all saw and loved you the same way. And we’re all so very grateful and blessed to have had you in our lives.
You were the most important person to me for a very long time. You are still very important and will forever be in mine and Marci’s hearts and mind.
Rest in Peace, Grandma.
Love Always.
Your Grandson,
Arthur “Arite” Dale Pancoast Jr
